13-Year-Old Assaulted At School: How To Talk To Children About Sexual Abuse

Schools are often regarded as the safest place for children, second only to their homes. However, this incident from Tamil Nadu’s Krishnagiri is likely to shake that perception. A 13-year-old schoolgirl was allegedly sexually assaulted inside her school premises and what is even more shocking is that this hideous crime was reportedly committed by three teachers of her school. This incident raises serious concerns about child safety and the lack of security at school. Read to know more.

3 teachers from a government school in Tamil Nadu’s Krishnagiri have been sent to 15-day police remand after being booked under various sections of the POCSO (Protection Of Children From Sexual Offense) Act after they were accused of sexually assaulting a Class 8th student from their school. 

The girl, who had been absent from school following the alleged assault, was paid a visit by her teachers, to enquire about her prolonged absence. However, they were taken aback when the girl’s parents informed them about the incident. The family, then, lodged an official complaint on their advice, following which the three teachers were arrested and remanded.

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Why Is It Important To Talk To Your Child About Sexual Abuse?

According to the survey "Victimization Prevention Programs: A National Survey Of Children's Exposure And Reactions" by NIH, “Children who are informed about their bodies and who feel comfortable talking openly with a caring adult are less likely to be abused and more likely to disclose abuse if it happens.”

Another Report by the Bureau of Justice Statistics suggests that in nearly 90 percent of the cases, the child knows the offender and it is often a family member. Hence, it is important that we talk to our children and make sure they are well informed so that they can raise an alarm in any such situation. 

Also, it is important to remember that children very rarely lie about such incidents. So, if your child shares about any such incident, there is a high chance that they may have been assaulted.  

How To Talk To Your Children About Sexual Abuse?

As we know, sexual abuse is a very sensitive topic, so, the conversation around it should be age-appropriate and done in a proper setting. Start by choosing the right place and time. Avoid doing it in a public place where your child does not feel comfortable. Also, you can do it at any time of the day, provided your child is calm and willing to talk, like at bedtime, during bath time, or during playtime. If you feel that your child is not receptive right away, that’s fine.

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The conversation should be age-appropriate. You do not need to expose your child to unnecessary information but, at the same time make sure that they know enough to take a stand for themselves. 

1. If the child is under 5 years of age, the conversation should be short, precise, and simple. The main focus should be on teaching the child about their body parts and how to react if someone’s touch makes them uncomfortable, like “Loudly say ‘No’ if you don't like someone touching you”

2. For children lying in the age group of 6 to 8 years, try to be a little more specific while making sure that the conversation sounds normal like “Remember, do not let anyone touch your private parts especially when papa and mama are not around” 

3. For children aged 9 to 10, it is a little easier to communicate as you can talk in detail about their privacy, types of touches, and recognizing unusual behaviour, like “No one should show their private parts to you or ask you to show yours”

Remembering The 3 Rs

It is important to teach your child about the 3 Rs of safety – Recognise, Refuse & Report. 

Recognise the difference between good touch and bad touch

Refuse any unwanted approaches, requests, and touches

Report if someone touches them inappropriately

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Recovering From Child Sexual Assault: Tips For Parents

The impact of sexual assault is not just physical and it may leave a long-lasting scar on the child’s mental health. Parents play a very significant role in creating a safe space for the children and helping them recover from the trauma. Here are some important things that are to be kept in mind:

• Children who are victims of sexual abuse need reassurance and support. Let your child know you believe them and that they are not alone.

• Do not blame them and tell them that whatever happened wasn’t their fault. 

• Let your child know that you will keep them safe no matter what. 

• Tell them that you love them and nothing is going to affect the bond that you share.

• Praise them for being brave and sharing it all with you.

• Respect their space. It can be difficult for a child to discuss it in one go. Let them take as much time as they want. 

• Try to spend more time with them and avoid bringing up the topic yourselves. Let them talk about it themselves.

• Let your child express themselves and do not dismiss their feelings.

• Try to control your emotions in front of your child.

Recovering from sexual abuse can take a lot of time. You have to be patient and let your child heal at their own pace.