How To Identify Potential Signs Of Sexual Abuse In Your Child?

Thane, a city that once reflected progress and prosperity, now echoes with the heart-wrenching cries of anguish and grief. Two kindergarten girls, aged three and four, were sexually abused by a cleaning staffer in the girl’s toilet of their school, which has led to enormous protests. The news has swept the nation into a vortex of shock and anger. Are our children not safe even in the sacred institute that’s entrusted with their safety and care? The question hangs heavy in the air, triggering the darkest of parental fears and at the same time, emphasizing on the importance of educating our children and raising awareness about sexual abuse. 

Why Children Don’t Speak About Sexual Abuse?

According to report published in the Indian Journal Of Medical Research, “Child sexual abuse is an under-reported offence in India, which has reached epidemic proportion”. The report further states that, “Sexual abuse and sex trafficking remain highly prevalent and are among the serious problems in India. In the last two decades, an increase in the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases has been shown in children. Children who are victims of sexual abuse often know the perpetrator in some way”

One of the major reasons why sexual abuse is an under-reported crime is because many children don’t talk to their parents about it or either inform them much later. There are several factors that may prevent a child from opening up about sexual abuse. Some of these are:

1. They might feel ashamed and embarrassed to share it and according to the Office of National Statistics, this is the most common reason, accounting for 53 to 58 percent of the cases. 

2. They don’t know how and when to talk about it

3. They don’t identify it as something bad as they have been groomed by the perpetrator 

4. They are concerned about how their parents will react, whether they would believe them or not. 

5. They are scared that they will be blamed 

6. The perpetrator threatens to harm their family and loved ones.

Signs Of Sexual Abuse In Children

1. Behavioural changes such as social withdrawal, feeling fearful, crying without provocation

2. Mood swings, becoming clingy

3. Having nightmares, screaming or shaking in sleep

4. Bedwetting and / or thumb-sucking

5. Possession of unexplained money or gifts

6. Loss of appetite

7. Unexplained physical injuries (cuts, bruises, soreness around mouth, genital pain or bleeding)

8. Reluctance to be alone with a certain person or fear of a certain person

9. Unusual knowledge of sexually related matters

10. Inappropriate expression of affection

11. Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)

Things To Do If Your Child Opens Up About Sexual Abuse

Here's what to do if your child confides in you about any form of abuse:

1. Try to create a safe space, one that is private and where your little one feels secure.

2. Show your belief in your child and do not dismiss their feelings or emotions

3. Let your child know that they are not at fault and no one is going to blame them.

4. Let your child take as much time as they want to process it. They might not be able to share it all in one go. Do not ask questions that you think might make them feel uncomfortable. 

5. Make your little one understand that what they have been through is not okay and it should not have happened, but, at the same time, assure them that it is not their fault.

6. Recovering from such an incident can take time and even years. It’s important to be patient and considerate. You might even need to consult a counsellor to provide your child with the help they need. 

The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, 2012

The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act, 2012 (POCSO Act), was enacted to protect children from offenses of sexual assault, sexual harassment and pornography and to provide a child-friendly system for the trial of these offences. The Act provides for seven specific sexual offences against children (including non-contact abuse) and stipulates child-friendly legal procedures that must be adhered to during investigation and trial. The Act does not recognize sexual autonomy of children in any form. Children can also be held liable for committing sexual offences under the Act. As a result, sexual interactions or intimacies among or with children below the age of 18 years constitute an offence.

(Source: CCL-NLSIU, 2013;  https://www.nls.ac.in/ccl/justicetochildren/poscoact.pdf )

Highlights of the POCSO ACT

• The Act defines a child as any person below the age of 18 years and provides protection to all children under the age of 18 years from the offences of sexual assault, sexual harassment and pornography.

• This is the first time that an Act has listed aspects of touch as well as non touch behaviour (eg. Photographing a child in an obscene manner) under the ambit of sexual offences.

• The Act incorporates child friendly procedures for reporting, recording of evidence, investigation and trial of offences

• The attempt to commit an offence under the Act has also been made liable for punishment for up to half the punishment prescribed for the commission of the offence.

• The Act also provides for punishment for abetment of the offence, which is the same as for the commission of the offence. This would cover trafficking of children for sexual purposes.

• For the more heinous offences of Penetrative Sexual Assault, Aggravated Penetrative Sexual Assault, Sexual Assault and Aggravated Sexual Assault, the burden of proof is shifted on the accused.

• The media has been barred from disclosing the identity of the child without the permission of the Special Court.

Sexual abuse in children is a problem we need to address collectively as a society but also as individuals. Gathering the courage to speak on a child's behalf is perhaps the first step we can take to protect our children. Here is also a list of some child helpline numbers and resources you can reach out to, in case you notice any symptoms in your child or in a child known to you. Be aware and protect our children.

Child Helplines and Resources

• Child Helpline: 1098

• Childline India Foundation: http://www.childlineindia.org.in/Background-to-CSA.htm

• Save The Children: http://www.savethechildrenindia.org/

• PRAYAS: (011) 29955505/26089544/29956244/29051103

• RAHI: http://www.rahifoundation.org/

• Link to NCW Study on Child Abuse: http://wcd.nic.in/childabuse.pdf

• National Commission for Protection of Child Rights: http://ncpcr.gov.in/

Have you got any other tips you would like to share with fellow parents; pls do mention in the comments section below, we'd love to hear from you!