Life Lessons from My Child

“Mamma, you apologize often, you should not.”

The words hit me real hard. One because they came from my 9 year old and second because his saying them out loud meant he had been observing me and forming an opinion all this while.

As I tried to justify my actions, he added, “When we are quick to say sorry, the other person starts feeling they are always right without realizing their own mistake. We should leave them alone for some time.”

That was a little too much for me to absorb. I had to let it sink in, the unexpected onslaught of wisdom from someone who was still a baby in my eyes.

Although it was uncomfortable to be confronted by a child, I was exhilarated to know that my baby, this boy, had a mind of his own. While young children subconsciously adopt parents’ behavior and habits, he had developed an independent thought process. 

Arjun is now 12 years old and there have been several moments when he has left me speechless and made me logically question if there could be a different way of doing some of the ‘grown up stuff’.

In this blog, I am sharing with you some extraordinary lessons learnt by fellow Proparents (Please click on the image above to enlarge it) through their child. Perhaps you have also learnt a thing or two from the little wise people in your life. If reading this warms your heart, or if you wish to share a light bulb moment you experienced through your child, do share it in the comments below.

Dad, don’t let my trust go up in smoke. - Saurabh Saini is confronted by 7 year old Mrinal

Trust and truthfulness are two virtues which we like our kids to imbibe, but mostly when it comes to setting examples for them, we perhaps miss the mark, without realizing that they observe and take notice of such things. One day Mrinal asked whether I had smoked a few minutes earlier. 

I had been caught in my tracks, so I just tried to make light of the whole thing. So I asked him, Why are you pointing at me, your mother could also be the one who smoked.” 

His reply was, “She always tells me the truth, but I can’t say that for you.” 

That was the day I quit smoking. 

Things don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be. - Navneet Bahri learns from 7 year old Prisha
Child is the father of man. I heard this many years back, long before I could really make sense of it. One evening, my child was creating a new board game of her own; something that involved butterfly cutouts, a dice and a board with numbers 1-100 written on it.

She showed me the game, I try to understand it, and then I did the grown-up act. I suggested improvisations. She listened, excitedly adding on a few things. I got carried away to suggest some more changes. When even after a couple of suggestions, I did not stop; she told me something so evolved, in the easiest words, “Mama, we are not trying to make a perfect game, right!”

Wow….BANG! Another reality check! in the most subtle of ways. In our quest for perfection, the first thing we let go of is the one which is most important – fun!

If the choice is between Perfection and Happiness, I listen to my child. And I choose to be happy.

Negativity, what in the world is that? - Syed Muksit learns to unlearn from 3.5 years old Riyaan

Anger, sadness, ego. As adults, we know these emotions and that is why we fight and sometimes end up not speaking with the people we love for days, weeks and even months. 

Children are innocent; they do not know these feelings until they learn it from adults. For them, a negative emotion is a passing, fleeting experience, which is why they are able to stay happy and bounce back even after getting a scolding or screaming.

Seeing the way my child manages to stay in this zen-like state all the time, I have learnt to detach myself, to whatever extent I can, from these unwanted emotions and I find myself more happy and content with the self and the surrounding. The moment I unlearned these negative emotions, I stopped experiencing them, thanks to my little boy. 

A lesson too many, and counting! - Bhavna Awasthy is constantly evolving, thanks to 7 year old Anahita

There is a lot that my little one has taught me and I really don’t know where to begin, but I will try.

Everything will happen in its own sweet time, we can control only so much. Before I had my daughter, I was a little low on patience, everything had to be now, but after her, my patience levels had to be developed. I realized I could only control so much, things would happen when it was time for them to happen. More importantly, I could not rush my baby. I call her an old soul. Now my pace is different...and I am glad.

When I raise my voice even at someone else my baby gets scared and upset. Nobody likes to get yelled at. I realized, I could not raise my voice at anyone, leave aside my own child as every time I was upset with someone, my little one got scared of me.

Time spent with her is the best gift I can give her. None of the toys or gifts would mean anything if my child was lonely and sad. We spend hours together, just finger painting sometimes, and she is so happy. Just a hug, a smile, a favorite toffee, some playing with thermacol balls, bubble wrap or a good tickle.... it takes very little to be happy. 

Being happy is no rocket science. - Jween Samuel lives with a happy 10 year old monk called Samarth

Happiness is simple, my child keeps reminding me with his cool and composure. One day I was really upset when I came home from work. Samarth does not usually like going for a walk. But that day, he asked me to go for a walk with him. We walked for some time and met few of our friends and neighbors. I had to smile and talk to everyone.

After we returned, he said, “See your mood is now so much better.” It is overwhelming to see how my child connects with me like no one can.

Whenever I am upset with him over something, he tells me, “Mom, your blood pressure would go up, please calm down.” He is a very positive and calming force in my life. 

Dad, you missed the important things. - Manmeet Walia is learning to appreciate the small things, thanks to 9 year old twins Shaurya and Veer

The other day, I learnt that Veer is now listening to Justin Beiber. That was the time it hit me that the kids have grown up. Patience and realization is an ongoing process on a daily basis with kids. Sometimes when I tend to be insensitive towards the little things, they sit me down and make me understand, they make me see the side of things I am not able to see myself.

It is a very proud moment for me and I love being shown the way by these two gentlemen in my life.

Sulking is such a Waste of Time - Geeta Arya is learning to let go, with the help of 5 year old Pryanshi

My child shows me how life can be so simple and uncomplicated. Once she had this fight with her best buddy and came home fuming. I usually try to stay out of these things and let her figure out what she wants to do.

The next day, she comes to me and says, “If he doesn’t speak with me, I will go and talk to him. Because I want to play with him.” That’s all. Plain and simple. No ego hassles, no complications. Pryanshi teaches me to have as few knots in my relationships as possible and if there are any, there is no harm if I take the initiative to untie them.

She says she wants to be like me, but I want to be like her. 

Mom, you are being mean! - Smita Shah is glad to be reprimanded by 8 year old Aarav

“Speak properly and I will listen to you. Show some respect!” Of late I had been using these words often with my child. Every mother loses her cool at times and children often become the punching bag for the simple reason that they are around and they cannot shout back at you.

I was having this really bad day, and I ended up venting all my frustration at my son. What does he do? He simply walks up to me, holds my hand and says, “Mom, please speak with me politely and I will listen to you. You are scolding me because something is irritating you.”

This guy gave it back to me the way I needed it. I have been trying to mend my ways since :)

These were just some of the countless extraordinary gifts received by these parents from little angels in their lives. Innocent, effortless thoughts that keep us grounded, and give us a much needed reality check from time to time.

What life lesson have you learnt from your little one?