Good Touch, Bad Touch - Know the Difference

With increase in the cases of child sexual abuse and child abduction, every parent needs to be alert for the safety of their child. This calls for certain steps to be taken by the parent including teaching the child what kind of touch is acceptable and what is not.

What is Touch and Its Types?

Touch is a feeling which makes an individual feel good or bad. It is a means of contact and communication which has many forms like patting someone's back, holding hands, shaking hands, kissing forehead, cheek etc or beating someone, kicking someone etc. Let's talk about it and its types when it is about making a child comprehend its type - good or bad.

Good Touch:

It is a touch that makes one feel safe. It involves actions like patting on the back, kissing on forehead, cheeks, holding hands, shaking hands, or running with each other holding hands. All these point towards harmony or well being.

Bad Touch:

It is a kind of touch that doesn't make a person feel good.  It kind of hurts, as for example when someone beats you, kicks you, pulls your hair etc. At times, it makes one feel petrified. In addition to the ones mentioned above, there is a touch that involves private parts, bad intentions etc. For this, the child must be informed so that he/she knows what kind of touch is acceptable and what is not. Suggest Read: Ways to Educate Child to Protect From Molestation, sexual assualt

How to talk about good touch and bad touch with your child

But first, we as parents must take the responsibility of talking with the child about this clearly. We should sound confident and approach them with a completely clear and transparent concept of touch. It is our duty to teach the child the exact difference between good and bad touch so that the child knows how to interpret things, which shouldn't leave him/her in a muddled situation. For that, the approach from parent’s side needs to be correct.

First of all, speak to the child about "private parts". Parents shouldn't hesitate in speaking with the child about it in clear terms. Use the right terminology for the private parts such as breast, penis, hips etc. Explain to the child that these parts can be touched only by parents or someone who routinely takes care of the child and that too while cleaning them or giving bath. If others try to touch them (or even people familiar to them touch these parts without a reasonable cause), they have the right to say " NO". Give the child full authority of his / her own body.

How the child can ask for help:

1. Shout loudly and say a firm No. This way of expressing dislike about a particular incidence requires courage that needs to be imparted by the parents.
2. They need not be frightened about anything and should be clear in saying that  "I shall report this thing to my parents, grandparents" or whoever is close to them.
3. Inform the child that if someone tries to tell him to keep certain acts as secrets, never to do so.
4. Most important of all, if your child tries to convey such things to you, please trust your child. Be vigilant about his/her surroundings. Take the child in your confidence and communicate.

As parents, the safest way to keep your child safe, is to empower the child with the right knowledge, and also have a very trusting relationship with him where he can confide in you for anything (remember research shows that most cases of abuse happen by people known to the child rather than total strangers!)

So, proper education is essential and initiative has to be taken by us. Let's not wait for the right time, let's start it right now.