3 Reasons why comparison is not good for your child

“Look at Geeta aunty’s son, he has secured full marks in maths. Your friend Ashish stood first in singing. Why don’t you anything seriously. Start paying attention to your studies or other activities rather than just roaming here and there”, nagged Rohit’s mom. Though there is an underlying concern in Rohit’s mom’s voice, she is unaware that she is unknowingly hurting Rohit’s feelings with these verbal statements.

“Why my child is not eating properly? Why is her health not as good as other children of her age? I am giving her the best diet, full of nutrition but why she doesn’t look as healthy as her friends?

I am sure you as a mother must also have had similar thoughts. But did you know that thinking these thoughts are of no use. Doctors say that every child has their own growth rate. There are early developers, slow bloomers and steady-as-you-go child in every group, so comparing your child's results or performance can be completely unrealistic.

 There are so many reasons not to compare your child to others. Whether it's to a sibling or the child of a friend, subjecting your child to comparisons damages their self-esteem and makes them feel inadequate. Yet many parents feel it somehow reflects on their child or themselves if their child isn't as 'good’ as others.

1. Self esteem suffers: One of the really important reasons not to compare your child to others is that it hits her self-esteem hard. How would you like to be constantly compared to others? Low self-esteem issues usually have their root in childhood, so don't make your child feel that they're inferior to others as others.

2. Comparisons make her resentful: Direct comparisons can make a child feel very resentful. When it's made clear to them that they're not as good as a sibling at something, they not only feel bitter towards you, but also towards the sibling. Do you really want to foster antagonism between your children? No you do not. So avoid comparisons

3. Each child is an individual: Understand that each child is different and has her own talents and interests. Why does it matter if one child is musical and another isn't? The non-musical child may be good at sports or love reading. One thing is not better than another, and neither is one child better than another. Let them develop their own interests and abilities. They should not feel that they have to be more like a sibling or your friend's child.

As parents you must not only stand with our child but let her know that you are there with her in whatever she decides and choose.