How To Deal With Demanding Children? A Smart Guide To Tame Tantrums

As parents, you must have encountered situations where your child tried to assert their needs simply by nagging requests or throwing tantrums. These demanding behaviors are normal developmental issues, though they appear disturbing and annoying. For you, the challenge is how to tame demanding behavior peacefully. Let’s read on.

What Is Demanding Behavior?

In simple terms, demanding behavior in children includes excessive nagging, shouting, or tantrums. These actions are more like commands than requests, often accompanied by annoyance, crying, and defiance when their demands are unmet. When exhibiting this behavior, children may speak loudly, display an arrogant tone, and insist on doing things their way without listening to their parents.

Though emotionally draining for you, this behavior is a normal part of their growing up years and can be least avoided. Demanding children try to assert their needs, wants, and wishes in a socially unacceptable way. Thus, you feel annoyed and awkward. Being bossy at times is normal; however, if your child displays rudeness, excessive crying, or throws tantrums very often when not getting what they want, the behavior must be corrected. 

You may also like to read:

Ways to Respond to Child's Temper Tantrums When They Happen

Toddler's tantrums before school - Ways to deal with it

How To Say No To Your Child?

10 Typical Behaviors of Demanding Children

Demanding behavior may start as early as 3 years and become more noticeable when children grow older. When they develop strong desires, they try to assert their needs in a manner that appears impolite. Having a low tolerance level for a ‘no’, these children develop unrealistic expectations in life. 

They tend to believe that their parents will give them anything and everything they desire. This gives rise to setting demands and reacting with anger and frustration when denied. Even small refusals are reacted with loud crying and screaming.

Some of these typical behaviors are as follows:

• Asking politely is not their forte.

• They use words like, ‘I told you that I want this right away, why don't you understand

• Interrupts you when you’re talking to someone else and repeatedly seeking your attention

• May become frustrated when told to wait or defer their demands

• May insist on having things on the spot

• It gets challenging to tame their anger after being denied something

• Disobeys instructions

• May backtalk quite often

• Expect special treatment always.

• The child challenges the rules being put in by the parent.

The Causes Behind Such Behaviors

Demanding behavior in children can occur due to several reasons. As children have less communication skills, they often struggle to explain to parents what they want without screaming and crying; just because they do not know how to explain things in the right manner. 

Some other probable causes include:

• Children lack patience and self-control; thus putting demands that appear annoying to parents.

• Fear and insecurity may lead to seeking constant parental attention.

• At times, children try to test boundaries and seek independence from parental control.

• They may imitate demanding behaviors from siblings and peers.

• Overindulgence from parents can give rise to demanding behavior. When children get what they want, their expectations grow leading to frustration when denied.

Way To Deal With Demanding Behavior - 5 Tips to Consider

Some of the ways to handle such behaviors at home are as follows:

1. Maintain your Calm - Although tough in reality, You should remain poised while dealing with demanding children.

2. Offer them choices: This makes them feel valued. If you allow them to choose one out of the two choices, they feel in control of the situation and less dictated by parental choices.

3. Tell them set consequences: When children know what will happen if they demand unnecessarily, or throw temper tantrums, they become aware of the consequences and refrain from behaving badly.

4. Ignoring the unimportant demands - Parents can also ignore nagging, or tantrums and show that they’re offended with 

5. Never hit the child - Hitting can make things worse. The child becomes stubborn, will cry, and will not follow rules at all.

Demanding behavior can be addressed through emotional support and by creating a structured routine at home. Sometimes, setting clear boundaries at home will let children know what forms of behavior are allowed and what not.